Painting My Life - Tulika Karmakar

"I've got the best of both worlds since my Mumma is Gujarati and my Pappa, Bengali. Their love story is pretty much like a Bollywood movie, literally! I'm a single child to my parents. As most of my cousins chose the corporate line after graduation, my parents expected the same from me. I was pretty good at academics which made them think MBA is the way to go for me. Honestly, at some point even I thought I wanted to go that way. Until, I decided to explore my artistic side. Something that made me genuinely happy. Maa says when I was a kid, I would spend hours sitting in my room drawing or coloring. Now that I'm 22, grownup, I don't think much has changed. I'm still mostly in my room drawing or painting. 

Initially, back in 2017-2018 I used to draw on Instagram stories using my fingers and I did not really think much of it but I got a really good feedback from my followers and that's how the story of "tk.sketchbook" started. I created the art account but I was reluctant to post there (because I'm a super anxious person). When the lockdown started I was at a really low point in my life. My anxiety was at peak. It was so bad that I was on antidepressants. I used to feel unwanted, out of place in the worst way. And let me tell you, nothing is worse than the feeling of questioning whether you're wanted or not. I felt myself only when I was drawing or painting. Art was the only thing that kept me going during that phase. I started giving myself bigger projects to keep myself busy from my overwhelming thoughts. I tried new things like, painting on denim jackets and also painted murals. I started posting consistently and I started getting projects from other people as well for portrait paintings and jacket painting. 

I'm super close to my Mumma. She's always been super supportive and has never doubted any of my decisions. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have any faith left in me. I don't have any siblings but my cousin has never made me feel that. She has an immense amount of confidence in me that even I don't have in myself. 

This lockdown made me understand that people come and go in life and not everybody turns out the way we expect them to be. Ups and downs are a part of life. What makes you stronger is what keeps you going. Anxiety is a part of me. Everyone has different ways of coping up with difficult situations. For me, it was through Art. I feel a sense of calmness and comfort when I hold a brush or when I'm around paints and colors and since I'm a PAINTBRUSH (the meaning of Tulika, my name), I'll continue painting lives!". - Tulika Karmakar.